Early one morning
feeling the storm coming
I went for a walk
I reached the shore promenade
the mood in nature was in sync with my heart
When the storm hits my heart
I believe in the stories my mind serves me
These storms form somewhere deep inside me
So I walk, and I kindly ask my mind to cease
For I won't blame it on the world I perceive
I keep walking, until I stop to observe
The sea is moving with the wind
A bird in the sky is flying in the wind
The trees are moving with the wind
For what I see no one blames, no one feels guilt
The storm is just here doing its thing
Has the storm in my heart a function?
Why the need to blame or regret?
I don't know why this storm comes
but no matter how much I reject it, it keeps coming back
Today, I'll be like the sea, the bird and the trees
I'll allow the storm to be
Maybe one day, I'll let go enough
To allow the storm be the guide towards the place it needs to take me.
We all suffer from mood swings, I presume. I think I have already talked about mine in other post. I have periods where I feel overwhelmed by everything and everyone. I have periods in my life where I feel alone.
My mind serves me with a bunch of thoughts to engage with that will feed into these challenging moods. All from analysis to justifications of why I feel how I feel. So lately, I try to observe my thoughts and tell myself that I am getting entangled in my stories again . I let go of the stories so I stop blaming everything and everyone for my mood.
What I discovered today is the level of self-loathe that I experience now when this emptiness hits me. I feel guilty for going back to that space. I feel helpless as it seems like I can’t get myself out of it so easily. But what if I just accept that I have these stormy days? What if I allow the storms to come instead of try to run away from them?
I know about these moods, and I am working on refining my perceptions. I obviously can’t stop these moods from coming yet. Can I accept that? Maybe these storms just need to happen, and the less importance I give them, the less damage they make.
Interestingly enough, after acknowledging that, I felt some relief.
I recently heard on a podcast that mindful living is a full time job. Refining the mind is so too. When we think we’ve got it, we discover it is just the tip of the iceberg. It might help to think that we are explorers in unknown lands, and approach the mind with the enthusiasm an explorer has. 🙂
2 thoughts on “Stormy weather and refining the mind”
“I have periods in my life where I feel….” I wonder what happens when we regularly pay attention to these “periods,” to our gift of monthly cleanse and cycle, rather than judge or control them. A friend of mine taught me about this and she notices, like the tides, a natural cycle to her “periods” and rather than attempt to colonise her flow, she sets herself up to work with and support herself for the particular phases of her cycle. She works to decolonise her “periods.” During one phase, she doesn’t make big decisions, during another, she may focus on her creative work, during another, she keeps quiet or maybe she stands taller, or makes no new commitments. What wisdom do these “periods”in our life share with us about the energy in motion, e-motion, within and around us?
Even the moon has a regular phase in her cycle where she makes waves and no sane person attempts to control or stop this.
Sounds like a healthy attitude to the ups and downs. I tend to drown in my downs because I try to control them, I have come to realize. It has a bit to do with our culture don’t you think. We believe we should be stable, always function well…
I need to learn to let go and allow and at the same time not let the mood swings affect those around me. I need to think less… thanks for sharing 🙂