During the last few years, I have been asking myself why, growing up, and also as a young adult, I have been seeking the perfect person. Not the perfect husband, or the perfect lover, but the perfect person. Someone who is good and nothing else.
The awareness of this need came gradually as I experienced extreme disillusion when I discovered that this one person I thought was flawless suddenly did or said something I would judge as mean or bad. The feeling of disenchantment was such, that I had to completely cut all contact with that person.
I don’t know how many times I experienced this, maybe three or four throughout my life but it makes me think of the collective need we have to find heroes and how difficult it is for a person that has been labelled as such by the public opinion to live up to the ideal we have of pure goodness and flawlessness.
Why would I expect someone to be flawless when I know that I am not? Is it to put myself in his/her hands? Is it to escape from my shortcomings? Is it out of hope that this person somehow will save me from myself? I don’t know. Maybe I don’t need to know, but I think that I make myself and other people a big favor by acknowledging that our mind is characterised by duality. Some of us are able to do more good than harm around us, while some of us are more limited by our mind and do more harm than good. Some people have created a lot of pain and realised it timely to change their ways. There are also examples of people who have done good things for some and really bad things for others.
Maybe this need to believe in heroes comes from our need to connect with our Higher self? Beyond our thoughts, beyond our experiences and actions, this promise that at our core, we are Pure Potential, that we are Love, Freedom and Bliss. So until we touch it, until we realise it, let’s cut ourselves and others some slack. Applaud good actions, support good deeds, be inspired and inspire and remember that what we see is all a product of our mind.