When things don’t go the way I expect them to, I go through a series of emotions. The first one unsurprisingly is frustration. Depending on the level of attachment that I have to the situation, I can sometimes work with my mind to let go of the frustration and see the possibility in the situation. If my attachment is stronger, the turmoil of emotions doesn’t stop with frustration, and unfortunately, it often culminates in self-doubt. It is an awful feeling, self-doubt, and the problem is that I don’t always manage to see it. So the spiral of negativity takes me really low.
So, what to do? I think that although it is important to be assertive and speak up for myself when I feel unfairly treated, once I have said what I think, the best I can do is to bring my attention inwards to stop feeding into the frustration and counteract the self-doubt that only makes me feel even worse.
Throughout the years, I have been trying to create a method. This time, I have even come up with some bullet points. To begin with, I ask myself:
- Why am I so attached to this situation? Can I let go? Can I make a compromise with my mind?
- What is my part in this? Is there something I could have done better? Is there something I can change in my future actions, attitudes and expectations?
And I forgive myself. For the reaction, for what I think I could have done better before the situation and whilst in it.
It is not fun to realize that I could have done better when it is too late, but luckily for me, as long as I can breathe, I can learn. I don’t win anything by doubting myself and my capabilities. The bottom line is that like anyone else, I am constantly doing the best I can with my set of skills and limitations, and it is in moments like this that I am offered the opportunity to stop, reflect and realign myself.
So, stand up, brush the dust, look up, and keep walking. No idea of myself is worth my peace of mind.